Thursday, October 18, 2007

I thought I moved to MIchigan

So I thought I moved to Michigan, but it feels more like Florida. It's 63 degrees right now and rainy. I don;t mind the rain, but it's supposed to be 72 today. I thought it was supposed to be cold here...

Anyway I shouldn't complain I guess.

I thought I would post a picture of my favorite breakfast ever. I had this at the Bi-Partisan cafe in Portland on my birthday. It was perfect, and would be perfect on a day like this.

Okay anyway. I wish I could figure this new series of paintings out. I keep going back and forth on ideas, and theories, and experiences and all these different things. I can't seem to produce anything I like. It doesn't help that Michael is going to grad school for art and he comes home and tells me about the critiques that he has and some of the ideas that are being used there.
It's difficult because I can't help to think about them and think about my work at the same time. I can't separate them. Maybe I shouldn't but I don't know what I am doing. Or writing. I need my tea. I am going to stop because I know what I want to say I just don't know how to say it.

My art and my ideas seem so insignificant compare to theirs. There is a lot of good advice that he has been given and so I have been thinking about that too. Last night I attended a series of presentations given by the second year students and their work. There was some really beautiful thought provoking art and people and of course there were some that weren't so much. I love that I have the opportunity to be able to be a part of that environment, and not have the stress of having critiques and reviews, but it can be difficult at the same time.

I want to be making that art and I want to bigger part of this community...but I don't want to grad school. I just need to use the experience that I have access to to help influence my work. I just wish I could have some original ideas...

This is going to be a long blog because I haven't had caffeine yet and I didn't sleep very well last night. So I am going to be rambling.
I have been sewing a lot and I have made major improvements, but I am not sure that I am ready to sell anything yet. I'll think that I have made a well made tote or apron, and then I get on Etsy to compare and I feel that it just isn't good enough compared to others. So I keep making things so that I can improve, and just when I think I am ready to post some items, I compare to others and back out. I am so afraid of selling that isn't the best that it can be.

I guess that goes for most areas of my life. Not feeling good enough, comparing myself to others, and being afraid to sell myself because I feel like I am not good enough.

Wow, who needs expensive therapy when you have have blog? Watch out therapists! Blogger is going to put you out of business!

Ok I should go.Enough self doubt and insecurity for today. I have a lot of stuff to do today. Like check out other people's blogs and attend more second year presentations this afternoon.

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