My best friend of 18 years right before running the half marathon.

Like most women, I've always been self conscious about my weight and my body. It started at a young age for me. Maybe about 11 or 12. I developed quicker than most of the other girls in my class and it made me feel so awkward.

Around 13 I started to feel even more self aware and I started to feel like I was over weight. I wasn't by any means. I dieted. I starved myself. I wished I was thinner.

It didn't get any better as I got older. It got much worse. Throw in a cross country move to California and my body image anxiety skyrocketed. New school, new friends, CALIFORNIA (!!!). That was a bad combination for a 14 year old girl. I hated my body and I thought I was one ugly lady...

Anyway, I didn't start to get better for me until I moved to the Portland area when I was 17, and even then I still struggled with my body image. Even though I was a totally normal body weight. Thank you unrealistic media ideals and Photoshop.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was running a 6 mile run in shorts. My thighs almost started a small fire with the friction they were causing. It hurts and it's uncomfortable. I thought to myself, "Well, I should probably invest in some Body Glide."

Then I thought about that for a minute. I thought about how my 20 year old self would have criticized herself for being too fat. She would have told herself that she had to cut out calories and fat grams and eat only rice and steamed broccoli for weeks.

Wow. To think about that. To think about how far I've come in my thought process, in the way I see myself and my body. For the first time, in I don't know how long, I like my body. I love my body. I have worked so hard to get where I am today physically. I have put in countless hours and miles running, and working out, and I really love the way I am. Right now. It's such an amazing feeling. To like my thighs. To just like me. So what if my thighs rub together? Most peoples do! It's what thighs are for. Well, not really, I just liked where that was going for a minute.

Anyway, I know I will struggle with the way I look in the future. I feel like it's almost inevitable. But, right now, this minute, I truly love me, thighs and all.

In my last post I wrote about how I had this sketchbook now, and that maybe I share too much of myself through social media. How I was going to just use my sketchbook for really personal things. Well, I lied. Kinda. I feel like there are certain things that do need to be shared. Like this. Because it's something that I just feel so great about and I want to tell everyone about it.

Thanks for reading about it. I feel pretty proud of myself.

Sometimes some fresh air and some good music playing in your ear phones are just the medicine that you might need.

I really didn't want to go for my run today, but I made myself go anyway, and I'm so glad I did. It picked me up and helped me get out of a little funk today.

I'm a sucker for over produced, pop music for running. I'm not afraid to admit it. However, I am afraid of playing my iPod on shuffle at parties...

Here's the playlist I've been listening to lately:

Girl on Fire - Alicia Keys
Wake Up - Arcade Fire
Halo - Beyonce
Song 2 - Blur
Spanish Bombs - The Clash
Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
Let's Dance - Lady Gaga
How it Ends - Devotchka
Home - Edward Sharpe
Dog Day are Over - Florence and the Machine
Need You Tonight - INXS
Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys
Stronger - Kanye West
Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
Hit it Hard - Peaches
One Step - Yacht
Down Boy - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Sheena is a Punk Rocker - The Ramones
We the Common - Thao and the Get Down Stay Down

I have to say, that Alicia Keys song, "Girl on Fire" really gets me. Especially when I'm on my last mile.

13.1. Done!

I've been in sunny San Diego the past few days.

Before the race. We look happy and ready to go.

Oh it was so nice. We ate food and hung out with my friend Kim. Oh, and both Kim and I ran a half marathon! Woot! It was great. It was a lot of fun and we didn't hurt ourselves. I had a pretty serious migraine afterwards, but it didn't last too long...

I finished in 2 hours and 5 min. I think that's pretty good! I didn't start to get too tired until about mile 11. I did push myself a little too hard at the end. I really wanted to get under 2 hours and I really wanted to beat these twin 12 year old boys. I did neither. In fact, according to Nate, a blind woman beat me to the finish. That blind woman is awesome.

After the race. Kim looks good. I look like I need an aspirin and a hot shower.

I know this might sound a little crazy, especially since it hurt to walk the following two days, but I already signed up for another one. It's the Portland Marathon. Today was the last day to sign up, so I went ahead and did it! I really wanted to sign up for the full marathon, but I feel like I need just a few half marathons under my belt first.

I'm excited! I'm excited to train in nicer weather! This winter has been hard and I'm looking forward to a training program that doesn't always include rain. And will almost guarantee I'm not running in snow or ice.

The pretty view from the apartment we rented.

It's nice to be back home, but I already miss my friend and the sunshine... Maybe we can retire in Southern California. If it doesn't fall into the ocean first.

20 Days

I'm heading to San Diego at the end of the month to run a half marathon. Why travel so far to run a half marathon? I lived in San Diego years ago, and many of my friends still live there, including my best friend from the 7th grade. She's running the half marathon with me.

At the airport, leaving for Portland, 1997.

I've been training for this for the past three months. It's been tough. The weather, although relatively okay, has been cold and wet the past few weeks. My day job doesn't exactly make it easy either. It can be pretty draining. I rarely sit down while at work, and my long runs fall on my days off, so I haven't had too many rest days through this training schedule.

It's okay though. It's almost over and it's been a good experience for me. It's allowed me to see just what a badass I can be.

I'm looking forward to running my first half marathon race and I'm really looking forward to seeing my old friend. Maybe a full marathon will be in the near future. I'm going to see how this one goes first, however...

Good Weekend.

Well, that was a great weekend.

I somehow scored a Saturday off. That was really nice.

Sunday I ran a 10K in the Run Like Hell Race. I wore a viking helmet, then proceeded to drink and eat way too much at 10am. I passed out at home around 1pm and I was pretty much out of commission the rest of the day.

My friend Teresa was a dead marathon runner. I was a viking. Fun times.

It was really fun, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. However, if I had to do it again I might observe the following rules:

1. Do not wear head gear.
2. Bring headphones.
3. Drinking two beers afterwards (at 10am) might not be the best idea. One beer might be a better option.

I'm really excited about future races! I think I may choose wiser next time there's a costume theme.

Monday I was able to get a lot of work done and I think we found everything we need for our Halloween costumes. Yay! We actually have a party to go to this year. It should be a lot of fun.

P.S my time was 55 minutes. Go me!

Printing

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my Etsy shop, and about my art this past week. This summer has been a bit of a struggle as far as sales go.

I look back on past years and I'm amazed that I made so many sales. I truly wasn't greateful for all the business I was doing. I took it for granted. This has been my worst year on Etsy since I started. I've thought about just not doing it anymore. I've thought about giving up. I've thought that it's my work. That it's just not a good fit for Etsy. It's been discouraging to say the least.

In all that thinking I've thought that it is impossible for me to give up. This is what I want to do forever. I decided that a shop update is much needed. a total over haul. I need to change my thinking and I need to completely revamp things over here.

Working on a new plate.

Last week I was reunited with my etching press. I had it in a community studio that I used rent from. I left it for other artists in the building to use if they wished. Well, the artists were recently asked to vacate this studio space in order for the building owners to renovate and create better studio spaces for double the amount of money. It's a sad situation for many, and I'm afraid more of this is going to happen to artists in our lovely city...

It's hard to see now, but this is a little bird sitting on a branch. 

anyway, this also meant I needed to fetch my press before it was sold in a studio move out sale. So, now it's sitting my garage waiting for me to create art. I ordered ink, paper and copper plates today! I'm excited about this. I feel like it's all pat of the big picture of my revamping.

I feel like this is going to be a wonderful change for me artistically, financially and mentally. It's time for new. It's time for letting go. I'm excited.


also, I signed up for my first ever half marathon today. It's in San Diego and I'll be running with my good friend of 17 years. I've been afraid to do this forever, but it's too late now. I've paid and now I'm doing it and it feels good :)

Running in clouds.

Running in clouds.
Originally uploaded by michele_maule
I took this photo a few weeks ago while I was running through the park.

Just wanted to share it with you today. It's one of my favorites.

Catching Up!

Wow!
I feel like I haven't written a blog post in years!

It's been awhile...I'm not announcing the give away winner yet, I just felt like writing a blog today...

So I have been very busy.
The Spring ling Craft fair is next Saturday! Holy crap! Where does time go?
So I am making some things for that as well as making the decorations for it.
I still have four banners to make. Eeks!

I have also been working on a special piece for an ad agency out of Minnesota.
They wanted to see if I could do a painting of the Detroit skyline for a medical group they
are doing some work for. They wanted a happy healthy looking Detroit :) hehe. I sent in the image just now...I really hope they like it so far.
It's not quite done, but they needed something to show their client.

I've been running a lot lately and I feel so much better. It's one thing to work out at a gym and something totally different actually running outdoors without sweaty people and bad t.v on. Well, I guess they do have CNN, but, it's always the same bad news about the economy, AIG and Obama. I swear the 24 hour news stations are partly to blame for this economic crisis. They're on 24 hours a day and need something to talk about...so naturally they're going to talk about the economy 24/7 scarring everyone and their moms.

Well, anyway...other good news...I got my studio in the warehouse with a group of friends and people I know! whoohoo! I am so happy. :) It's small..about 100 sq. feet, but it has walls and a door, so that's nice. It's also right along the waterfront so I'll be able to go for runs and walks along the Willamette! Yes! It's one of my favorite running spots in Portland.

We've got about 6 weeks left till graduation. I can't believe it.
Wow. We're getting so close. So close.

Well, I hope everyone is well!

Thursday Thursday Thursday

So. It's Thursday. What does that mean?
Absolutely nothing :)

I think I ran five miles today! Whoohoo!

I am determined to run a marathon by the time I am 30...that means I have 2 years.

Let's see. We went to this grocery store last night after the movie. It's called Meijers. It's the epitome of consumerism and it's absolutely frightening. They had small televisions playing commercials at every check stand! I felt like I was in that movie Idiocracy. The part where they go into Costco...if you haven't seen it I highly recomend it. The plot is kinda dumb, but the idea is good. And Luke Wilson is H O T T!

Anyway, another day almost over. I want to drink some Mojitos...mmm...mojitos...